“Perfect love” No such thing, right?

perfect loveYou wouldn’t believe how much we all put into the craft of trying to find that perfect partner/mate. I mean countless blind dates to endless trials of perfecting that perfect relationship. Taking time to ourselves searching and looking, yet reading every book possible to learn and teach ourselves how to discover that “perfect love”. Yet after every defeat, we return to the cave of our own bitterness sorrows of junk food, tears, guilt, shame and despair. We begin to question the very love that is within us. Dissecting every piece of our personality and characteristics which makes us who we are. Recreating relationship goal after goal. We tell ourselves this time, I won’t be so clingy, I’ll work out, change my diet, listen more, talk less, perfect my credit, find my career path and solemnly just focus on me. I will be brave and inspired like “Being Mary Jane” I’ll even purchase Steve Harvey’s book ” Act like a woman and think like a man” if he or she loves me then they will wait for me after all it did work for Megan Good, Right?  I mean I put so much effort into waiting. Waiting on God. Sigh the universe is simply trying to tell me something that love no longer to exist out there for me. Watching so much romantic movies and that so called fairy-tale of waiting for love to drop at your door step.  Damn it when is she/he coming. I am going on 35 years old no children, no spouse, just endless work. Oh god, please let them be perfect in every way.

                           You begin to create a list of the things you want them to have or features you want them to look like. For men, it can be multiple things for women, good hair, nice posture, perfect teeth, big breast and lord oh mighty a petite round ass. For women I want him tall, nice complexion, big hangs to match his big ****. He must have his own car job, sensitive, etc.  You see everything is based on the perception on preference, hence why it’s difficult to find that perfect mate. As long as you keep defining what perfection is in your mind you will only limited yourself to a category which is “selective market”. Think about it when you go into the grocery store and your picking out a melon. Do you get the one that is soft, full color and ripe, right? Your mind is telling you that this fruit is ready to consume because it’s already for you. Instead you by past the melon that is still developing and maturing, right? Deep down we technically don’t want to wait for it to be fruitful. We want it right there and now. Keep in mind the demand of our needs does not match the supply of our wants. Confusing, right? I need the melon because it’s ready to eat versus I want the melon just to have. Yet when it’s reversed I want the melon yet I don’t need the melon. It’s the same as the perfect love. I want the perfect love yet I don’t need the perfect love. We confuse needs/wants for two different things so our outlook or love is shifted.

“Love is like falling rose petals, once the petals are all gone can I still love the stem”

-Sincere. Ronoldi

1-love-quotes-amy-poehler4 (1)

Truly there is no such thing as a perfect love it is only the thought of finding the perfect love. One must understand perfection doesn’t lie in the thoughts of desiring the perfect love. Perfect love doesn’t just fall out of the clouds and hits you like an apple falling from a tree. Yet a perfect love can be created through truth, understanding, and purity of one’s own understanding of self. Perfect love must be created not sought. You have to learn the meaning and value behind the construction of the love you bring and what you are willing to receive as love. The good, the bad and the Ugly. Perfect love is designed and molded into perfection. It’s not a 3-D pop up art. It takes years to master and sometimes a lifetime. More, over there is no time-frame on discovering your perfect love. Yet you can discover the perfect love within yourself. After all we all deserve to find love within that someone, right?

What are my 5 Needs?

  1. I need understanding
  2. I need communication
  3. I need security
  4. I need a voice
  5. I need commitment

What are my 5 wants?

  1. I want trust
  2. I want love
  3. I want foundation
  4. I want intimacy
  5. I want to be desired

What are my 5 demands?

  1. I demand longevity
  2. I demand inspiration
  3. I demand honesty
  4. I demand preparation
  5. I demand faith

What are my 5 supplies?

  1. I can supply truth
  2. I can supply stability
  3. I can supply consistency
  4. I can supply dependability
  5. I can supply an open-mind

First 5 words I think of when I hear “Perfect love”

  1. Hardships
  2. Growth
  3. Matched Souls
  4. Work
  5. Meticulous

This was the list I came up with in college before I even knew what love really was. I spent years just blind dating and getting into temporary relationships. You must be willing to put in the time, work and studying one what you believe when it comes to your definition of a perfect love. It has to be designed at the right time and created with the right tools.


5 thoughts on ““Perfect love” No such thing, right?

  1. Very insightful post

    Actually when I read the intro of the entry, I began to wonder how many dates people actually go on. Maybe I’m a recluse , however I didn’t have numerous dates prior to getting married.

    While your lists are very ideal, and would be great to find someone (and yourself) who would remain unchanged during the course of the relationship, I suppose that’s part of the difficulty.

    To be honest, I would hthink most people have less than half a dozen relationships which would be long enough to identify those traits in their prospective partner.

    In the end, I think it is more like the HR dept. You can’t really tell what a person is like until you try them for real. The resume and interview is akin to dating. Maybe living together is similar to being employed in your probationary period, and marriage is like full employment… however it doesn’t mean you can’t get terminated!


  2. I enjoyed reading this post. In my mind I don’t see perfect love as someone whose perfect. Perfect love is someone who fits you. There is a such thing a perfect love.


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