“Inside of Every shy man is roaring a ferocious beast. Sometimes a beast can’t be tamed… It’s too wild and simply needs to feast upon the flesh to curve the appetite of thirst.”
It was July 11th 2012 and it’s been 2 years since my previous relationship. I got my job as a writer for my own personal publishing company called “Sincere. Ronoldi productions” as I was too often stressed out at times to make correct deadlines. Being a single male bachelor growing up in the rough streets of Washington D.C and being from Southeast Barry farms made life a little complicated in the dating scene. My life was consumed with editing my own books for publishing, late night glasses of wine, music in the background, yet before I forget my sex addiction classes that were court order through my divorce. Now before you go starting to think the worst. I am not addicted to sex, however my marriage ended because I wanted to explore different stages of sexual, erotic organisms to spice up the love connection within our marriage. Moreover, married for 8 years and together for 10 years I just wanted to take some initiative and change things a bit. No one told him to be a little bitch and complain about the sexual adventures. He was all for it and wanted to rekindle are love, then got upset because my desire and fantasies were just too much for him. You know we are not going to even start! Child that’s one thing I understand about myself girl, Okay I am not going to stress myself out over a man. Shit I’m thirty years old and I was just hitting my matured stage to be adventurous. I constantly stayed in the gym working out this shape, Okay! I needed to keep my 38 inch waist with my solid 215 lbs. of pure thickness. We all know that the dark-skinned brutha’s love a little cream. I mean I am fun-size 5 feet and 6 inches tall who wouldn’t find me adorable with my tight biceps, triceps a six pack that can pop off the cap to a beer bottle. There had use to been a time when I use to be able to look at a man and knew exactly what he wanted, yet when divorced you go through so many changing emotions. You get so self- conscious about the way you look dress, feel and even act. It makes it so impossible to regain your identity of whom and what you were. I mean here I am sitting in a room full of grown ass men straight and gay talking about my sexual experiences and how I felt about them makes me more than uncomfortable. Yet I told myself I will be strong, different, bold, sexy and more appealing than I ever been. I will learn to be celibate and try to find real love again.
“What is your name again, I’m sorry” My name is Jamal Glaze but most of my friends just call me Glaze. Staring at me with a glare from his glasses my therapist began to say “Okay we understand your work background but you are here because you have a problem a sexual problem and we are all here to support you on what your problem is.” As I began to look around the room at all the eyes looking at me I couldn’t help to state “I don’t have a fucking problem”
“Oh you don’t, is that right? Okay Glaze begins to tell us exactly how and why you got here if you don’t mind. Good Dr. Reynolds that’s a very long story you see and I should just go back too far to explain my past endeavors. Please call me Jake! I am sure we all would like you to share with us so that we can support you during your time of struggle. Wouldn’t we class? “We are here brother, show yourself and don’t hide” as that all began to say around the room in unison. I didn’t know where to start guys… I guess I can start here…
I was at home in my condo and the doorbell rang! I opened the door and there was a deliver guys coming in setting roses down on my table and gave me a card. I opened it up and inside of it read. I can’t wait to see you tonight for our date. I am the luckiest man alive with your beauty by my-side, I will arrange for a car to pick you up by nine.
-Until then my love Walter.
So it’s been about three months since Walter and I was talking or you could say seeing each other. My friends were getting so anxious to know what was going on between the two of us. Walter had spark and charm and could sure sweep you off of your feet. I mean flying me to Cancun, Paris and random spontaneous outings. Showering me with gifts, yet he wanted me to be his man. I somehow rejected it because I knew he was a player. Walter would only call me on late nights and often would make excuses of why he as late to dinner or coming over at times. There have been multiple times he would show up two hours late or send my calls to voice mail. Yet tonight is the night that is supposed to our night. Tonight is the night I tell him that I can’t do this anymore. I needed much more from a man then money and material things. Although my friends see me as being spoiled I only say me as a trophy. He only dates me for my beauty, my curves and looks and never once asked me what I wanted. He is too controlling and I can’t take it anymore. So tonight I have to place my emotions to the side and treat him like a product like he does me.
I played some soft jazz music on and poured myself glass of rose wine. Dropped my clothes off right in the hallway walking towards my room; I took two clips from my night stand and twirled my hair around my hands into a bun and clipped it so I wouldn’t get my hair wet. As I was standing there sipping my wine looking at myself in the mirror memorized by my solid, thick shape and rubbing the stretch marks on my inner thighs. Got damn I need to lose a little weight down there. That’s the problem when you are short, flat stomach with the thighs and ass of a black women makes you question like how in the fuck did this shit happen. My chest poked out with hairy peach fuzz as my arms busting with muscles complexes on what I should wear tonight. I place the shower cap on my head and got into the steamy water. I just stood there allowing the water to hit my body placing my hands out on the glass, just thinking to myself. Men always want something and half of the time it comes with a price. I knew I cared about Walter yet somehow he frustrated me with his lies and motives on certain things. I mean why the late night conversations, Why the ignored text messages? I mean the only time he came around was at night and I remember one time on a Saturday morning. Well also other than our random trips or get away weekends. It’s been a week since I saw him and I just wanted some quality time. I needed to get myself out of this shower before I am late.
I dried myself off and stood butt ass naked in my closed trying to figure out what to wear. Did I want something tight, loose, preppy; fashionable I mean we are going out to a restaurant. Fashionable it is, I pulled out my Versace green see threw button up shirt, with my tight jeans and low top shoes. I waited him to see every curve and inch of my body. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t mind being a good boy but tonight I simply just wanted to fuck without feeling guilty in my head. I got fully dressed pouring myself another glass of wine waiting for my cell phone to go off telling me that the limo was here. Next thing you know it was glass after glass after glass and I was feeling my wine close to drunk you can say. Suddenly my phone went off and he told me to come outside. I looked at the time and here it was eleven at night. Still late as always, I got up and left my house to the driver opening my door with him inside of it with regular clothes on. “I’m sorry I was late I thought I would be finished with work early and there is a change of plans we’re just going to go back to my penthouse and relax there if you don’t mind. Sure why not Walter. “I’m sorry baby. “ I looked at him squinted my eyes like negro please save that shit for someone who cares, once again I am always the one waiting around for you.
We arrive at his penthouse; he places his key in and unlocks the door. He turns around to me and tells me to close my eyes. So I did, he grabs me by my hand and guides me inside and tells me to open my eyes. I opened my eyes and seen red and white roses around the living room, rose petals on the floor, chocolates, strawberries and candies with champagne near the lit fireplace. Candle light all around the room. I was shocked and surprised. “Happy three month anniversary, I smiled so hard I thought my smiled would fall off.” “Come take a seat, read your card and I’ll pour us a glass of Champagne. I looked around the room more shocked because I never had a man do this for me I mean, I only ever been involved with one person and that was a girlfriend I had a long time ago. I have never had a man woo mean likes this. Although Walter pissed me off at times he was the first actually guy I have feelings for and started to fall for. I talked to other men in my past yet none of them ever knocked me off my game. Either they were too scared of my success, image, confidence I never really knew. Men would talk to me one day and gone the next.
Walter walked over to me handed me my glass and said would you like to take a bubble bath with me. I constipated if I wanted to or not I wasn’t use to men seeing my body in that kind of way. I’m and thick boy with an abnormal waist line. My body sometimes intimated men. Not just that but when you have a big ass and a dick the size of a whip cream bottle you tend to offend men who aren’t as bless as you are. However, when I leaned out his hand to me I couldn’t resist grabbing it for him to pull me off of the couch. He looked me in my eyes and said why you are so damn beautiful. I smiled and laughed “You just saying that. He took my neck into his hands and started to gently kiss me. I felt his long tongue come inside of my mouth swirling around battling mines. Pulling his tongue out biting my bottom lip, he stopped and took me by my hand to his bedroom beyond it laid the bathroom. There also were candle lights in there with bubbles and rose petals in the bath tub. He began to kiss me again rubbing all down my back and gripping my ass with his big muscular hands. It all felt good to me. Walter ripped open my shirt as he began to suck and bite on my nipples. My whole entire body was pulsating. As he picked me up in the air, biting down on my neck and placing me on the counter by the sink, my hands was rubbing on the waves of his jet black hair. He took his tongue down to my happy trail sucking and licking the curves of my waist. I enjoyed that Walter was aggressive. He lifted my legs in the air folded them into his inner arms and began to feast upon me. I could feel his tongue vibrating inside of me. I was biting down on my lips because he felt so erotic and good. He took a break and said “Hold on real quick I want to try something.” He came back in the bathroom biting down on twizzlers and said don’t worry this will be fun. Walter started me up again smacking his tongue on my ass; He twirled the twizzlers inside of me as I began to moan sucking on his fingers. I wanted him badly and I wanted him now. I told him to stop I need to catch my breath. This was too intense for me. I slide off of the counter and threw him down on the bathroom floor. I sat on his face and began to ride his tongue like a carousel horse. Bouncing up and down, as I took his long black dick into my mouth spitting and gaging on it. He was thick and curved like a hook. I never had a man this big, not along bigger than me. I mean I was 10.5 inches and his put me to shame. But, hey it was either go hard or go home. Walter blew inside of me as I took my hand and shoved his face deeper inside of my cake. If your gonna eat, then you might as well get to the center of my passion fruit. I took his dick down to the back of my throat vibrating making music cords to tickle his dick. His toes were curled and his legs were locked. I took his dick out of my mouth and smacked it on my tongue as I made my ass clap back on his lips. Walter then flipped me over on my back putting my legs crossed in the air and down to my chest as he began to kiss on the tip of my dick teasing me. Wrapping his whole entire throat down on my dick felt so warm and sensational. He looked at winked as I started smiling. He released my legs and dick and climb on top of me with his big ass body. He took the lube from under the bathroom sink and slaps some on his ass whole and slipped me inside of him. He felt so tender like his palm was gripping every inch of me inside of him. He slowly moaned while riding my dick back and forth. “I just want you to taste it a little he says.” I muscle toned ass into my hands as our chests pressed against once another I pushed more inches of me inside of him. He exhaled air out of his mouth whistling in my ear, go head Jamal make love to this ass boy. I stroked back inside him even deeper this time biting on his nipples as he was getting even wetter down on my dick. He buried his face into shoulder panting. “Omg! This feels so good, I love you Jamal. I didn’t know whether he was saying that because he was feeling it while we were fucking or if he generally felt this way. I looked him in his eyes and said “I love you too Walter. I pulled my dick out of him and made him climb off of me and told him let’s take this to the bed. He walked over to the satin king size bed sheets and buried his face in the pillows with his ass up in the air. I looked at him and said “Lights on or off? I want them on so I can see us making love. I felt so good inside and special. I came up on the bed, smacked his ass as he jumped a little bit as if I startled him. He turned around shoved his mouth on my dick and was sucking it even harder. He backed off and said can I have it “Have what? Your ass! Can I be your first? I love you and I won’t hurt, I know my dick is big but if you say stop I promise I will. I did love Walter and wanted to give him something a piece of me I never given any man. Topping is one thing however it’s my dominance, bottoming for a man gives him my power and control over me. Please Jamal! I agree to it. He looked at me and said “show me all of you.” I stepped back from the bed as he lied on his back, hands behind his head looking at my body. Craving every inch of me with his biting lips and seductive eyes, signaling me to come and get it. I reach behind my head and took the two pins out of my hair and allowed my long curly hair to fall down my back. “Turn around he said” I turned into a full circle. “Damn! I didn’t know your ass had tiger stripes and dimples in them. Your body is one of a kind. I didn’t even know your hair was that long. Where you been at my whole life hiding all of that beauty just concealing it. I giggled because it was cute. “Come over here” I climb on the bed and got on top of him as he took some lube and rubbed it on my hole putting his fingers inside of me very slowly. He took out his middle finger and licked it and said “wow you have a natural sweetener down there. I nibbled on his down and climbed on to his rod. He didn’t push me down on it and allowed me to take my time. As I could feel his big ass pipe pushing through my flesh; as if he was parting a sea, my ocean. I couldn’t help but to grab down on his chest scratching and pulling on his massive pecks. I asked him was it in yet, yes, baby just take your time I right here. He leaned up in a sitting position as my legs wrapped around his waist as his arms wrapped around my mines. I slide even deeper down his dick and could feel the foot long snake slithering around in my forbidden garden. Brushing through my walls moving inside of me showing me he was alive and well. He placed his large hand on my throat and titled my head back to look up towards the heavens, as his other hand wrapped my hair around his wrist, tenderly pushing himself in and out of me. My nipples getting even harder as I felt like people were watching us; clapping applauding me for doing the impossible, as I felt something stirring inside of me. He took his nails and graved them on my back as I pushed him down, swung my hair to the right side my shoulder. My body was molding to his size and I was begging to get use to him. I took my legs from around him and dropped in a split, tightening my grip on him as he screamed! Omg! You’re a beast. I felt like a succubus as my eyes rolled in the back of head, clenching down on my teeth. Enjoying my roller-coaster high, my inner animal was coming out to finish the job. Saddled up on him riding him harder and even deeper, he was cooing. I grabbed is wrist pinned them up by his head, throwing my ass in a circle on top of him. He was begging me to stop because he was about to cum. Just as I bounce back again I could feel his soul leaving his body and trying to come into me. Yet I hopped off in the right time, busted a nut all over his chest. He was panting like he just ran a race. He looked down on his chest and said “Damn you just glazed me like a Krispy Crème donut, that’s your entire nut… Like wow my dude, I didn’t even know men could cum like that. You are definitely something special. Well Glaze is my last name for a reason as I got out of the bed to go to the bathroom to clean up. “Well can I call you Glaze instead of Jamal? I laughed and said “sure why not” I finished cleaning myself off and got back into the bed. He wanted to cuddle and I wasn’t the cuddling time, yet I engaged this this lover’s intimacy because for once we just made love and it felt good to me to have someone there to solemnly care about you. To hold you accept your body, bare yourself completely and whisper in your ear “I love you” felt just like it was straight out of a movie.
Walter was asleep snoring and I manage to wake up because I could hear my phone ringing going off in the living and I thought it could be important. I got out of bed, cold from the air in the room as I walked on my tippy toes on the black marble floor the ringing stopped. Then it ranged again as I was looking around the room trying to find my phone on the coffee table in the living room. There was a little glow there from the fire burning out from last night. Ring! Ring! Ring! There it was again. I saw my phone on the couch and it wasn’t mines ringing, it had to be Walter’s. I really needed to find it then because it could definitely be important if it was his job calling. I pointed my ear in the direction of the noise and the ringing was coming from the mantel in the room. I picked up his phone why it was ringing and the caller Id read “Wifey”. I hit the accept button and the female voice on the receiver said “Honey, when are you coming home, I need help with kids. I immediately hung up the phone as I caught a pain in my chest. Agony heart felt betrayal is what could have described me at that moment. I mean I knew better than to fool around with an older man nearly twice my age. This explains everything from the late night conversations to the random texts messages to always creeping out at night. I was probably just his excuse to be away from home another work project I assume. I felt validate I given this man a piece of me and to have him as my first, three months was a waist of my time. I just don’t understand why go through all that trouble of wooing me and impressing me just to lie and deceive me. What was the purpose? I placed his phone back on the mantel and it ranged again. This time I answered it again. She said “Hello who is this? “My name is Glaze”. Who are you and where is my husband? He can’t pick up the phone right now. “Why? As she sounded so worried, as even her tone was shaken a bit over the phone. I fucked the shit out of your husband and busted a nut all over his face and body; you can thank me later for not doing your job correctly. I hung up on her, smashed the phone on the floor and looked towards the bedroom where he lied in a deep slumber snoring. I was filled with rage, pain and more so cheap. I never cared about the material things he bought me and I often rejected them. I wanted his quality time and his affection more than to be bought as if I was a product. I walked back into the room and took my drawers off the floor and pulled them up on my waist, tied my hair in a bun, tears was forming in my eyes because I wanted to weep and lash out on him, smother his bitch ass with his own underwear for lying to me. I grabbed my cell phone and walked out of his room, and then I thought if I just leave he would think everything was okay. I reached into his night stand to grab a pen and piece of paper. I wrote him a note saying:
“Lovely wife and kids, Live your truth” A penny for your thoughts. Sincerely – Glaze
“Some animals prey on the weak and some are the weak who get preyed on…”