I would say the average gay male decides to settle down and find real love by his late 30;’s-40’s stage, even after then there is still more struggle. Majority of Men even the thought of looking for love or the origin of love’s meaning has died down drastically. Now days love exists more as a material product rather then the value of it’s meaning. Typically as some gay men we say were are searching for love or that one. Not sure if testing bodies is consider a object experiment A to find love or if object experiment B Reality vs. Fantasy.
Experiment A: The thought or creation behind searching for love in someone first before we seek finding it within ourselves.So we tell ourselves we are looking and searching for the one. Then literally subject ourselves to the emotional baggage and failure we involve ourselves with the environment we place ourselves around. For examples: Jumping from one relationship to another. One body to another and we say that 10-12 bodies isn’t a lot because we don’t want the label as being a THOT, a whore or smut. Yet it is what it is. Every time we jump into a useless, dry, sucking weak encounter or relationship is one step further away from finding real love. We give excuses, he got money, he cute, girl his dick is big whatever excuses you give if you trying to test for the right one by fucking bodies. You got it all wrong. Only thing you will find there clinics.You can not be a person that tests bodies just to find love. Because every time you do your literally “Fucking Love” simply by wasting your time and energy on a test dummy. “Test dummy” a object, tool, fuck-boy, random sex encounters, unable to contribute love, sex doll…. Thinking everyone you met up with a encounter it is that *testing body syndrome* to see if love exists there.
Experiment B: Reality vs Fantasy
Often some sexual encounter hook -ups through Grindr, BGClive, Jack’d, A4A is believe to give the assumption that finding real love is like E-harmony but it is NOT!. LOL Okay. Understand we say its to go out on a date or two, Then one night stand, then sex was great, Boom! relationship. Later on down the road. Things don’t work your both wondering why. You allow the perception of fantasy cloud the reality of that it actually takes time to develop more in finding love. You have to read, understand, grasp the personality, sincerity of a persons actions of what they believe and stand for in life. Any thing is possible with communication, capability, Trust, Honesty and importantly faith.
Some of us gay men don’t learn to possess this traits until later on in life, When clubbing, random hook-ups, greed, lust, superficial appearance, gay-scene awareness is no longer a desire hunger. Reality of it is that there is more to a game of it all really. Who is playing reality or who is livining in fantasy. Who is test dummies for finding love over who is actually looking? Unfortunately the game of finding love vs finding bodies continues to go on. When playing the game you must keep in mind which player you are… So be honest.
Game players: Finding Love Side
Emotional Seeker: A person who seeks, affection, attention, audience and often plays the victim. Desires to love with there emotions and falls victim to TBS (testing-body-syndrome)
Love Seeker: Persons who feels if love doesn’t match there expectations, lashes out. Nothing can be said or done to prove the amount of love you can give them is enough. The thought of just being and having love causes them to seek other players with ” TBS” often believe sexual love is the connection to finding real love.
Position Seeker: The Dominant person who simply believes fucking through compatibility of common ideas, views, desires, fantasies is a door to finding love. This person believes that it is the position they hold in sex determines the type of love they will find. Finding love to them is go through a catalog picking product to engage into. Finding love is not there concern, Finding the right mate in (TBS) stage determines if love can exist for them or not. Hence why majority players in this game rarely make it to the Reality or Fantasy stage.
Finance Seeker: The player that believes that the value of finding love is finding it at his check book or wallet. This person believes no variables matter unless he has money to contribute to his happiness. They believe the value of there life receiving a coin or two to finance there fruitful lifestyle is new trendy of being in love. Finding love for them in money is a way of “TBS” the more bodies the better the coins. There only perception on life is the highest bidder pays for there love of possessions.
Game Players: Reality vs Fantasy
Dream seeker: This player is the most delicate cunning player. The dreamer lives in a world of imagination. There views on life is that love is rushing to get married, find the one, house, kids, boat etc. The out look on relationships is that everything is perfect and going to work out for life. There stuck in fantasy land believing that the journey to finding love is plain and simple. Meet a guy. Fall in love. Live happily ever after. Often will believe every guy they meet with “TBS”(testingbodySyndrome) dreams of falling in love and having a life is the reality of the meaning of theirs.
Reality Check Seeker: This person is consistently uptight. They often step back from the game scene to check themselves to see if they are on the right path. There smart, unique, wise and believe seeking love and finding love go hand and hand. They believe in order to find love you must neglect the “TBS” and strive on understanding all players on the field. They also often fall victim to the other gamer’s on the field and sometimes have minor set- backs. The reality check seeker will always stray away and return evolved. There is no imagination that fairy tale love exists for them. Reality is always more important than finding love in a fantasy land of false identities.
Rusher Seeker: This player has tunnel vision. The player that seeks to find love in marriage. They are also said to rush love and usually team up with dominant and love seekers. During the game the rush seeker uses the “TBS” stage to initialize there searches on finding love.They often push through reality stating love will come along with the fantasy of making it all happen. The rusher seeks approval in the “TBS” stage to obtain confirmation that love exists. No work is put in, love for the rusher is quick, fast, swirling out of control love that ends with the reality that the whole time was a dream-like fantasy.
Life Seeker: The most player that is evolved in the game. This gamer has learned, grew and developed a vast understanding of all players on the field. This player believes that Finding love is a timely thing to do as “TBS” isn’t a stage that they indulge in. They understand love isn’t rushed nor consists of settling with other players who use fiances, positions, emotions and thoughts of love to determine the “Finding Love”journey. The life seeker is content has happiness within themselves so they never fall victim or prey to dreamers, rushers or even marriages. The life seeker choose if love is ready to find them instead of them searching for it. Through maturity and life’s lessons the life seeker who love finds at the end of the game is transforms from a previous player on the field. Life seekers are the rarest on the field. It is with trials, obstacles, multiple relapses, fighting urge of stepping backwards into the” TBS” stage that motivates them to strive to push forward. This is the final player standing at the winners line.
I often wonder what gamer am I? What stage was or am I in?